(no subject)
Whitney Watson <whitson@gmail.com>
to Drew

Hey, stranger.

Sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you. It was one of those weeks, and I wanted to make sure I was clear headed and as bullshitless as possible when I did this. Okay, that and I was just putting it off because I gotta say, of all the things the cat's dragged in since June, you were the last thing I was expecting. Not going to lie, jury's still out on whether it's a pleasant surprise or not. Maybe there'll be a verdict by the time I'm done writing this.

By now, you're probably all settled in to your castle in Germany, and with any luck you've made friends with all the ghosts. At least, I hope there are ghosts, because otherwise what's the point of doing something as blatantly self indulgant as AirBnB-ing a fucking castle? If there aren't ghosts, demand a refund.

Sounds like you've had one hell of an adventure since you've been gone. Monks? Like, bald heads, robes, and the whole nine? It's probably a good thing you peaced out when you did, because I know you love a good robe, but you'd look fucking terrible without hair. Leave that shit to Varys and Mr Clean, please and thanks. And while we're on that topic, what kind of monks are we talking? Like the stodgy Godly types, who've got their noses stuck in a bible all the time, or the super zen ones who are so chill it hurts, but also could probably kick your ass if they really needed to? On a scale of Friar Tuck to Obi Wan, where do these guys fall? I have a lot of questions, and you brought it upon yourself when you decided to tell me these things.

There's not much to report on my end. This is probably the part where I tell you I spent some time travelling, hiking, and generally trying to get my shit together. Hell, I wound up going back to grad school, which is just sort of insane. (I present my thesis in a couple of weeks, so cross your fingers for me.) In a way, I guess I did the same, going on some quasi journey of self discovery, learning how to be alone, how to be a more complete person again. I think you always knew I was a little bit broken, even if I didn't talk much about it. Some days are better than others, some days are a struggle. I'm trying to figure out who I am, and how to cope with the PTSD and the depression, with all those lasting scars from things I have and had no control over. I'm a constant work in progress, but that's not too bad in my book.

It seems like this whole thing has been good for you. I hope you know that I never did resent you for leaving. Sure, I was sad and hurt for a while, because who wouldn't be? But I always said I'd support you doing whatever you needed to be happy, and feel whole, and I meant that. I still do. Yeah, I miss you like crazy sometimes, but what's important is that you're healing, and closing a pretty shitty chapter in your life. It wouldn't be right of me to hold any of that against you. In fact, I'm pretty damn proud of you, and I'm glad that you're doing better. You deserve it.

With any luck, this won't be the last I hear of you. If you do wind up in Boston, you know where to find me.

Stay safe.


On February 11, 2018 at 9:55:28 PM EST, Drew Powers <drew.powers@gmail.com> wrote:

Hey Whitney,

Surprise? I know we haven't really spoken since June, since I left and...I mean I think I owe you an apology. Just for everything. I've been out of contact with a lot of people for a while, I've only ever really been in touch with Jack, so don't hate him for not telling you we've been talking. I guess I thought that you'd want time from me, especially that we got married and I bailed on you. I'm a bit of a coward like that, you know? But I think you've always kinda known that.

But getting away from Boston was really good for me, I really needed this. I'm starting to lose a lot of Weasel's memories now. I don't have any of his items, and I'm kinda hoping in time that I won't remember him at all. That I won't remember all the awful things from Boston, because I need to put that life behind me. Which means...I need to put us behind me too. It's not that I don't miss you, because I do. I miss you a hell of a lot, and I still love you a hell of a lot, but I know that it wasn't right for us. For either of us.

I've been all over the place lately, and for a while I was actually traveling with a group of monks. Can you believe that? They're actually really nice and neat, but after traveling with them for months, I need to be somewhere with internet service. I'm going to Germany now, where I rented a castle (thanks, AirBnB!) and I'll be setting up shop there for a while. Maybe I'll write you now and then, if you want, as friends. But if you don't want to speak to me anymore, I understand that as well.

But I'm really finding myself on this trip. Finding who I am, what I need to be happy, who I am when I am just with myself, alone. And that was always the biggest thing, wasn't it? That I wasn't comfortable alone? Tara knew that, and I think you knew it too somewhere deep down. But I hope that you've been doing well these past 7 months. I hope you've found someone to make you smile too, because you do really have an amazing smile.

I might come back to Boston one day to visit. If I do, I'll let you know. But until then, I hope you're doing well.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I really do hope you're happy, and living your best life. I'm sure that you are.

See you around.

- Drew