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It's that time of year again, where I run off to explore the places I haven't been, see things I haven't seen, do stupid shit like climb into trees to do yoga and fall out and wind up with a giant bruise on my ass... (Yeah, that's a thing thing that happened.) Chances are I could have gone earlier this year, but honestly? There was a lot of shit going on, and I wasn't in a great place, so it was easier to sit on my ass at home and play video games, eat junk food, and ignore the world. Sometimes, you just gotta let that shit pass, work through it in your own way, and that's okay. The thing is, there was a time in my life, not all that long ago, when I lost touch with who I was... I was hurt, my body had betrayed me, and I wasn't able to work anymore in the only field I'd ever excelled at. I fell into a bad depression, suffered through endless PTSD episodes. I didn't know how to handle any of it, so instead of doing anything about it, I got angry. Mistakes were made, bridges were burnt, and I hurt a lot of people in the process; it was my rock bottom. The past couple years, I've worked hard at rectifying my past, relearning my body, my mind, my heart, and figuring out who I am now that a pretty big chapter of my life is closed. It hasn't been an easy road, and some days are better than others... hell, sometimes those days drag into weeks, even months, but I remember the things I have, and all the the work I've put in, and I push forward. I'm a constant work in progress, taking things one day at a time, and figuring it out as I go. Sometimes I still fuck up, I still play my cards close to the vest, I'm not great at talking about things... but I'm trying, and I think that counts for something. 🖤
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