my boo-boos have boo-boos, and i'm ticked off 
full name whitney beatrice watson birthdate & age 17th june 1983 & 34 hometown ottowa, ontario, canada residence boston, massachusetts nationality canadian, naturalized us citizan
⤑ september 1982 college sweethearts, wanda winston and alex watson are married in a small, quiet ceremony in vancouver, british columbia. shortly after the reception, the two love birds bid adeiu to their friends and family, kiss them on the cheek and take off for their honeymoon to disneyworld. they laugh, they ride rides, they explore things and eat way too much junk food before they're eventually get kicked out of the park for bumping uglies inside of the it's a small world ride. oops.

⤑ december 1982 turns out that the disney world really is magic after all, because despite using a condom and being on birth control, wanda is three months pregnant and busy doing daily re-enactments of the pea soup scene from the exorcist while everyone else is busy baking cookies and wrapping presents. needless to say, alex and his stupid, overly excited little swimmers are on santa's naughty list this year.

⤑ june 1983 if being pregnant is a nightmare, then actual childbirth is a fucking real life horror movie. there's nothing cute about childbirth, there's just blood and screaming and alex might've wound up with a broken finger and a few bruises from wanda basically crushing his hand while she cursed loudly and swore up and down that she was going to murder him and no one was going to find his body. but after an excruciating nine hours and thirteen minutes in labor, the couple welcome a shrieking, gooey, bundle of joy into the world. they name her whitney beatrice. they're not sure why.

⤑ christmas 1984 it's been a long year and a half. there's been some ups and downs and more dirty diapers than either wanda or alex want to actually think about, but whitney is a bubbly, exhuberhent child and they decide that despite the drooling and the fact that she's developed a fondness for climbing the bookshelves and has pulled the christmas tree down on top of herself twice already trying to get to a tinkerbell ornament, they might as well keep her.

⤑ september 1989 whitney is six and a total handful. she's too smart for her own good, often in trouble for fighting (because boys are jerks) and breaking things, though she insists she can fix them, enjoys talking back to her first grade teacher and has at least three boyfriends that her parents know about, who bring her gifts of fruit snacks and star wars toys and comic books (though her parents suspect that she might be stealing some of her loot)... and it's only the first month of school. clearly, it's going to be a long twelve years coming up. for some reason, wanda and alex still don't sell her to gypsies, though she has, more than once, accused them of kidnapping her from her real parents.

⤑ june 1992 it's the last day of third grade and only a week before her ninth birthday, when she comes home from school with a letter for her parents. they immediatly wonder if she's been asked not to come back next year, because it's seemed like it was only a matter of time before the inevitable happened. much to their surprise, the letter actually explains that whitney is a particularly gifted child and has been invited to participate in advanced placement classes during the next school year.

⤑ september 1996 somehow, whitney has made it to high school without being killed. honestly, her parents aren't entirely sure how, but they're proud of her nonetheless. more to the point, and they're not sure whether or not to be proud, but she's currently at the top of her class while simultaneously holding the record for most detentions at henry munro middle school. she kicks off life at her new school only a month into her freshman year, when she's suspended for a week after being caught selling test answers to other students.

⤑ st patrick's day 1999 so it's st patrick's day, and like any good, red blooded canadian teenager, whitney, who has somehow talked her way into basically being queen of the outcasts and nerds at her school, goes to a party with friends to celebrate... and proceeds to get blind drunk and lose her virginity. for the third time.

⤑ june 2001 to literally everyone's surprise, including whitney's, she's not only made it through high school, but she's also been granted early admission to columbia university, along with a partial scholarship. the thing is that despite the scholarship and having saved a pretty decent amount of money from selling her ritalin to her classmates while she slung coffee in a shack after school over the years, college is still expensive as fuck. much to her parents dismay, she joins the us airforce reserves as a way of helping flip the bill... wanda and alex decide that maybe it's for the best, because maybe whitney will finally figure out how to follow rules when there's a drill instructor screaming in her face.

⤑ may 2005 college is almost over. while whitney has done well and by all accounts, has a pretty bright future with plenty of opportunities ahead of her, she isn't ready to go out and face the real world. in fact, she doesn't even want to go back to canada. so she does the only thing that she can think of: she actually enlists in the air force. at the time it seems reasonable enough -- they'll feed her and keep a roof over her head. plus, she's actually good at it in practice and god only knows if she's going to actually be able to make use of her degree in the real world. at least this will pay better than working part time at a local best buy or something. she does, however, plan to continue work on her masters degree through a distance learning program offered by stanford university. it just might take longer than she anticipated.

⤑ christmas 2006 whitney says "merry christmas, mom and dad," by announcing to them that her occupational speciality has been changed, that she's now part of the 21st special operations squadron and she's going to be stationed on raf mildenhall for at least the next year. needless to say, her parents have given up all hope that their daughter will ever be a normal human being by this point. they're just glad that she hasn't gotten herself killed and that this seems to be something that she hasn't completely fucked up yet. for the first time in 25 years, they aren't afraid that their daughter is going to wind up in a federal prison somewhere... not that the words "special operations" don't have them on edge, but whatever.

⤑ march 2010 after more than year in england, she's finally settling in to life there. she's happy, she's in a good place, hell, she's even narrowed down her number of boyfriends to one guy instead of three... and she gets orders that she'll be coming back stateside. because nothing can be easy.

⤑ fall 2014 for the last three and a half years, she's been stationed at cannon air force base in new mexico, she's run countless missions and she's looking at maybe finally settling down. she's in talks with her commanding officers about changing her afsc to the office of special investigations after this last tour overseas and she's actually excited about just staying put for a change. but things are always easier said than done. that last mission takes a turn for the worst when a routine infiltration goes sideways and the world goes black. the last thing she remembers before waking up in a hospital is a fight, then falling, and then a searing pain in her head. her leg is shattered, she has six broken ribs, a ruptured spleen and a concussion that would make mike tyson cringe. she's only lucky that she made it out alive.

⤑ april 2015 she's spent the last seven months going through extensive rehabilitation and she's finally ready to go back to her life. except she can't do the things she used to do, partially because of medical limitations and partially because, frankly, she's fucking terrified of getting hurt again. so she's medically discharged from service.

⤑ december 2015 the past several months have been spent trying to figure out what the fuck to do with her life and so far? she's failing miserably. so far, she's dropped out of school only credits shy of finishing her masters degree and wasting her days away in a studio apartment in new mexico, surviving off her va benefits and trying to trudge through therapy in some lame attempt to get her shit together. after her first christmas at home since 2008, she decides to pack her shit and move to boston to try and start fresh. her parents urge her to finish her degree, but relent quickly, because truth be told, they're actually relieved that she's not going to do something dangerous again, because they're not totally sure they liked the feeling of their kid almost actually being killed... so much for the jokes.

⤑ now life is actually not terrible. somehow, whitney has managed to make due. she's still living largely off her va benefits, but she passes her time working part time in miscellaneous jobs that she's probably overqualified for but still sucks at, and selling home grown pot to pay the bills. her only big concern at the moment is what the fuck she's going to do once dispensaries open now that weed is legal... most recently, she got way too drunk in vegas and accidentally got married to her cousin's best friend. so, guess we'll see how that goes. #shrugemoji
Wanda Wilson
Lady Deadpool is a female counterpart of Deadpool from the alternate reality Earth 3010, named Wanda Wilson. Out of a need to belong and feel wanted, she joined the side of a group of rebels fighting against loyalists in the United States.

According to Wanda the fight started because: "Fascists in the federal government imposing their will on the people. A schism in Congress. Top-ranked generals taking sides. States declaring independence. Soon shots were fired in the street..."

comic parallels
initials are ww, mother's name is wanda
related to deadpool prime
middle name is beatrice, a nod to bea arthur, and owns an obscene amount of golden girls swag
wanda fought against the united states, whitney fought for them... despite being canadian
wanda is infamously annoying, whitney is flighty and spazzy and can be socially stunted, which can be a little offputting to new people
has several scars all over her body from various childhood injuries and her time in the military. most are easily hidden, and each one has a story... even if she makes it up because she can't actually remember.

since her accident, she is prone to bouts of forgetfulness and can get frustrated as a result. she keeps post it notes and whiteboards all over her apartment to write herself reminders and often replays events in her head repetitively or talks to herself as a way to commit them to memory.

because of her head injury and the subsequent post traumatic stress, she doesn't drive. at first, it was by doctor's order, but now it's a personal decision. instead, she walks, bikes or ubers everywhere.

as of feburary 2017, all of whitney's injuries and scars have healed entirely as a result of wanda's regenerative healing factor... now she just talks to herself because she's fucking weird. (and also the voice in her head argues a lot.)

tends to be rather reclusive when it comes to people, because she doesn't always know how to conduct herself and is often afraid of how people might react to her forgetfulness. prefers to be on her own or with a close group of friends.

nerds out over a lot of things, but tends to get especially excited about dinosaurs, space, video games, cult movies and tv shows.

fluent in french, spanish, german, mandarin, russian and farsi, as well as elvish and klingon, though she tends not to broadcast this. (she also thought about trying to learn dothraki.)

got married in vegas in early 2017 to a close friend. while they tried to make it work and genuinely loved one another, the couple ultimately decided to call it quits due to personal reasons. the divorce was amicable, and finalized may 30th.